Ladyhawke of The Noble Pagan spent a few days at the beach recently, thinking to recharge her batteries and positive energy. What she came away with was so much more.
“You’re trying too hard, you need to relax and let it come.” How many times have you heard those words and wanted so badly to scream back in frustration?
I came here to the beach to escape, to relax, to recharge my batteries, to find peace. What I found is so much more than all of that. What I found is amazing.
I’m not writing this to brag, or to boast, those involve the ego and what I’m writing about is how we need to get rid of ego because at times it’s our own worst enemy, in ways we may not have even realized.
I stood at the beach yesterday, up to my ankles in icy water and let the waves wash over my feet. I looked at over the expanse of the waves and thought about how some people are bothered by the sight of the ocean going straight to the horizon, nothing solid anywhere to be seen. I’ve been told by some that it bothers them, this infinite expanse – it makes them feel small and unimportant. I’ve never been able to understand that. I look out to the horizon and I see infinity, I see eternity. I don’t feel small at all; all I feel is wonder and amazement. The sea goes on and so do I.
As I looked out over the waves I visualized *Stella Maris standing on the waves, and I asked her to cleanse me of the negativity that I harbor inside, not from other people, but from me. See, I realized that I am the main part of the problem – my own anger, resentment, memories, are clogging up the works. I need to cleanse myself before I can block anyone else’s negative vibes. I need to let go of the darkness in me before I can complain about anyone else’s darkness. It’s not anyone else making me so ill, it’s my own anger.
I saw her raise her hands and light came and washed over me. I asked her for a gift, something for me to hold, to retain this feeling. She told me to give her one instead – the aquamarine I was holding in my hand, the one I had just cleansed and charged in the waves. I thought I was imagining it, that it was my own wacky thoughts…give up my aquamarine? But the thought was insistent, and when it gets like that I know it’s not me (yea, CS…I didn’t bother arguing anymore :p). I don’t know what my husband thought when he saw me throw my stone out to sea…I guess he didn’t think anything, because he didn’t say anything. I looked down at my feet, thinking maybe she would return the stone to me, but nope – all that was at my feet was this tiny, very, very, tiny, ugly brown shell. It was there, I didn’t understand it, or know if it was what I had asked for, but I wasn’t taking chances – I picked it up and kept it.
It has been an amazing few days down here. Yesterday I watched the sea-gulls attempting to fly in the wind. I remembered how as a child, before I saw hawks or crows or ravens, there was seagulls and I used to watch them, fascinated. I’ve loved seagulls since I was a kid, since first reading “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” and realizing there was more to these awesome birds than anyone else could imagine. I would sit on the beach, or at the Bay and watch them and when they took off I would pick one and try to fly with him in my mind, seeing the world through his eyes. When had I forgotten this? As I stood looking at the gulls, trying to understand why I had forgotten, Raven came and sat next to the Gull I was talking to and I remembered – I had lost the Gulls when I moved to North Carolina, so far inland that it was only rarely that I saw one who, for whatever reason, was blown inland. I had forgotten because I now lived in a world where hawks and buzzards and crows and ravens were as common as the gulls and pigeons of my childhood.
I thought coming to the beach was my idea. I realized this morning that I was called to the beach – it wasn’t my idea at all. I was called here to teach me a that I was trying too hard, that I wasn’t listening enough, I was talking too much.
I was called here to be reminded that it was already in me all the time and that I didn’t need to ‘learn’ anything – I needed to shut-up and listen to my spirit, to my soul, which already knew everything I was trying to learn. I needed to let go of ego and just BE.
Read the rest of her story here.
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- techchickwv said: This is amazing. I now want to take a trip to the ocean. However, I live in WV so I may just settle for a lake, or something. Maybe this summer or maybe on a break I can take one. Who knows, but thanks for the inspiring story. Much Love. Blessed Be!
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